Heroes Suck

Heroes Suck casts you as the Keeper, hired by the dwarf Kaelviir to run a dungeon beneath a mountain he bought. Heroes enter to reach the treasure at the far end; your job is to lay out the dungeon and stop them from getting there. Traps play out through a live physics simulation, launching, burning and knocking heroes into one another as they complain about their injuries and their reviews.

Build the dungeon

You decide how long the route to the treasure is, placing the dungeon one tile at a time and filling the space between the entrance and the gold with traps. The seven traps include Hidden Spears that strike through the floor, a hall-wide Pendulum Axe, and a Wall Crusher that leaves the wall and takes the front rank with it. Flame Jet keeps burning after heroes flee, while a Lightning Pylon arcs to the nearest hero and jumps to others until its charge runs out. Arrow Rain attacks from above, and the Time Warper slows everything in its radius without dealing damage, holding heroes in place for the other traps.

Each trap has five grades and its own upgrade lines. In town, the Forge can triple the damage of everything you own.

Powers and spoils

You choose four slots from seven powers. They can throw a crowd across the room, reset a trap mid-cooldown so it fires twice, shut off a healer, remove heroes’ buffs or drop something enormous on those still standing. Each stage begins with a choice about which three powers you can do without.

You collect gold, gear, treasure chests and arcane knowledge from the heroes. What you gather stays yours, and building the Storehouse preserves it even on nights that go badly.

Permanent progression

Knowledge taken from fallen heroes funds three mastery trees. Every node you buy and every trap grade you unlock is permanent and carries into later stages, so you return to each fight stronger than before.

You can also rebuild and upgrade the town’s Forge, shop, scriptorium, Storehouse and Town Hall. These buildings are permanent and improve your dungeon. The Town Hall collects taxes while the game is closed.

Campaign and challenges

The campaign has a prologue, four chapters and 45 stages, each with optional challenges. After the campaign, Kaelviir posts fake quests to draw in more heroes. They keep accepting through the Brutal difficulty and into Abyss.

The cheese mystery

The Shadow Guild, once noble, is now cornering the world’s cheese market on the Guild Master’s written order. The Mayor takes this extremely personally, though even he does not know why he loves cheese so much. Finding out what is behind the Guild’s scheme takes the campaign; figuring out the Mayor’s feelings takes longer.