Buy Kidnapped! A Royal Birthday PC key

Kidnapped! A Royal Birthday is a 158,000-word, text-based interactive comedy by Charles Battersby, with no graphics or sound effects. Your choices shape the story as you try to escape your captors, return to the castle and reclaim your rightful throne.

The rescue

Conspirators have imprisoned you in a tower and plan to usurp your throne. On your birthday, you take charge of the well-meaning but inept crew sent to rescue you: a brazen knight, a snarky amazon, a cursed enchantress and a humble peasant. Work together to escape the tower, outwit your foes and make it back to the castle. You can act like a damsel in distress—or an imperiled person—and let your rescuers do the work, or take up a sword and fight your own battles.

Choices and conflicts

Unravel the conspiracy behind your abduction and thwart your scheming siblings. You can side with the aristocrats or join a peasant rebellion, and seek to bring peace to the kingdom or revel in civil war. Gain stature to prove you are the one true Heir.

You can fight with swords, magic, your wits and grace, or a chamberpot tied to a stick. Your foes include a three-headed chimera, a two-eyed biclops and a horde of insatiable gnomes who become surprisingly dangerous after a few drinks. Fairy magic can bewilder and defeat your enemies; you can also disguise yourself as an Elder Vampire, stare down a giant and nap in a glass coffin.

Your character

Choose to play as male, female or nonbinary, and as gay, straight, bisexual or asexual. You can find love with any of your rescuers—or marry a goblin.