Finnish Army Simulator

Finnish Army Simulator recreates Finnish military conscription around 2011 as a humorous experience of service, with strict rules, repetitive duties, simple core mechanics, strong language and black humor. The current Early Access version covers more than eight weeks of service and over 40 hours of scripted gameplay. You attend lectures, learn discipline and marching drill, take part in training and try to make it through your remaining days.

Training and duties

Training activities include orienteering, combat training (taisteluammuntaharjoitus), military drill (sulkeisjärjestysharjoitus), NBC gear leak testing with tear gas, fire training with napalm and the cooper test. You also handle tent stove duty, cleaning service (siivouspalvelus), folding your soldier’s blanket (pinkka) and making your bed. A morning comb tracks how many days of service remain, while roundabout group punishment and intti slang are part of army life.

Gameplay systems

The game combines minigames with RPG elements, including dialogue, an inventory, player stats, free roaming and skill trees. Its mechanics draw on track-and-field and skateboarding games. You can roam the barracks area during the day, but at night the military police try to ensure that anyone moving around has a legitimate reason. Terrain exercises include modeled Finnish roads, terrain and defensive training structures. The shortest service lasts 180 days and includes approximately 300 nights sleeping or standing guard in the woods.

Story and life outside the base

A meta plot lets you uncover army secrets that are not commonly known. You keep in touch with the outside world through TV news and activities during weekend leave, and events outside the base affect your service. Several storylines may take multiple playthroughs to uncover fully. The barracks also include a morning comb for counting down your service days and a soldier home (sotilaskoti), a canteen and commissary with video games, slot machines, payazzo, treats, cheap jam doughnuts and famously undrinkable coffee. You can buy items unavailable there, such as Swedish snus, from platoon mates.

Equipment and barracks

Hundreds of items include live and simulated weapons, protective equipment, clothes, camping gear, packs, candy and snacks, as well as possible contraband. You receive standard kit through visits to the equipment warehouse (varusvarasto), though extra items and special equipment may be obtained in other ways. The barracks are modeled with bunks, stools and steel cupboards, and the soldier home reflects Finnish popular culture with tongue-in-cheek details.